Mike RZA's TOW(trick of the week)

Free Agency

As head writer following the squid squad, I figured I would take 5 minutes out of my life and finally post something. Unlike last week it is not raining out so I don't have a good excuse for not going to the game. Oh wait, did I just say I needed an excuse to not show up to a club lacrosse game at 2 on a Sunday. Until I see photographic evidence of free beers on the sideline, I prefer to just make up what happened in the game. So, in case you were wondering (I know you weren't) the squids had their first loss today 8 - 6 to the visiting team. (Disclaimer - It's about 3'oclock so the game isn't actually over but I'm in second place in my work bracket so I'm feeling pretty confident in my predictive skills).

Now that the squids have been put in their place they need realize they can't just show up and survive on talent alone. This is why they need to pick up some new talent. I would like to suggest some new additions to help the squad.

I'm not sure what Justin and Matt were thinking when they started forming the team. Today i will discuss the shortcomings of the defense but first some things they did right:

1. Got a guy who wasn't scared to throw a homerun check anywhere on the field everytime the opponent had the ball.

2. Have a defender that used to be fast and thinks he's an attackmen. However the only excercise he's had in the last 5 years is riding 72 holes a week.

This is were there should be trash talk about the rest of the defenders here but I'm tired.

I'm sure there are plenty of great pieces of this defense but like I mentioned earlier I haven't actually seen the squids play (I don't think I get ESPNirrelevant and if I did my DVR is full of old Maury Povich episodes. Which by the way Geoff, the 11th paternity test result came back....You are...................................not the father). Some problems and my proposed solutions for the squids

Problem: Noone smoking cigarrettes on the sideline inside their helmet. Solution:

POOP

Problem: Not enough pokechecks and too much sliding

Solution: Mike "if you get beat that's your problem, I'm not gonna slide and put myself in harms way" Murray

I'm done with this post, I apologize to any defensemen that I didn't offend but please forgive me as it's my first attempt at blogging. I will not keep you updated during the week of negotations with these two highly touted free agents. This hasn't been confirmed but rumor has it that Murray won't play for anything less than a new pair of White High Top Nike Sharks.

See you at the Boatyard for SquidBombs.

Oh and in late breaking news despite my predictions the squids won.

Squids Mascot Naming Contest

Suggest names in the comments section below.

Visors

Guys- we decided that we want to use money from our dues to get visors. they come in red. they're 50 bucks, but totally worth it. come on, justin. please, dude.

Exclusive Press Man for the ELC

Exclusive reporting rights were recently purchased by native Annapolitan Stump Wimbish to report on the inner workings of the ELC. A passionate laxthusiast, Phillip has spent his whole life around the game. Related to two Squid attackmen, Wimbish saw himself as having a unique view toward "The Team." Stump vowes to use his inside knowledge of the team to not only promote the Squid movement, but also give its fans game recaps and stats.

Below sits the questionaire submitted by Stump to get the SquidSquad blog Head Writer position:

1. Why do they call you Stump?
"Grizzly Adams did have a beard."
2. What makes Eastport special to you?
"I have to walk over a bridge to get there."
3. We hear you have some cousins on the team. Who is better: Justin or Jamison?
"Being unbiased, I can say without hesitation that Justin definitely has a mean slap shot."
4. Do you actually know anything about lacrosse, or are you just trying to get a field pass so you can drink on the sideline and watch games?
"Dude. I'm a lax bro through and through. I played at AYLA for Christhilf sake. Don't question me, douche."
5. Do you have any prior sports writing experience?
"I once wrote a paper in college mere minutes after doing Oklahoma drills in the rain outside my frat house using a Natural Light can as a ball."
6. Favorite style of dance?
"The Squid Squirm"

Congratulations, Stump. You're officially the Head Writer for The Squids. Your press badge is in the mail. If anyone tries to give you trouble on the sideline, just flash your badge from underneath your Squid costume(leftover Super Mario Costume from Halloween with red pool noodles attached by fishing wire).