Sportsmanship

In an effort to promote more sportmanship among eastportaricans and the lacrosse world in general, the squids are beginning a new sportsmanship campaign. In order to show what classy upstanding citizens they are, the squids are no longer referring to others with nicknames, using curse words, pointing at others, or following everything their friends say with "that's what she said." Violators will be punished with squid bombs, no exceptions! If unfortunately you were to find yourself at a squid game don't be suprised to hear conversations such as the following.

Michael Fretwell: Dagnamit David, why didn't you slide there, I could tell from a mile away that Matthew was going to get beat after going over the head for the twentyseventh time today.

David: Sorry Michael, I think I just puked inside my helmet. (He will say this while pointing at the puke on his face mask, upon which Patrick "statgirl" Macadams will yell "thats a squidsquad bomb" and point at Dave thus inflicting a squidbomb upon himself.)

Todays Injury Report:
Doubtful: M. Fretwell - Knee Injury from celebratory dancing
G. Christhilf - Broken Finger, caused by driving with Pat.


Good luck Squids, you'll need it!

pat

Pat keeps making do posts. I do not like pat. If you also do not like pat please post a comment.

Also duck farts are better than squid bombs. Check with your favorite bartender to confirm.

Mike RZA's TOW(trick of the week)

Mike RZA's TOW(trick of the week)

New Member

Dear Justin or Matt,

Hey bro's, just got back from signing up for my legal prepaid services but wanted to hit you up, don't worry since I've already paid I remembered to drink and drive. Having a lefty laser, I'm used to being relied upon for worse. (I put up 4-2 vs Meade HS my Junior year, beat that). Back when I was playing club on the reg, in one week I beat Large Nasty, ripped one past little Fretpuppy, and out ate Geoff. Besides ripping dudes and stuffing cheese I've been tearing up the semi-pro leagues. I know you guys not only have a sick team but the sick threads, so I want to make an offer. I will play for your team all season, all I need is some squid threads and a few squid bombs. Since I'm feeling generous, I will even let you guys stand near me at the bar and watch me take home your sisters. Listen to me now, buy me drinks later; I will make your team better. Oh and zippin on the Red Eye is gonna cost me some Bay Area Saturday Nights, all I ask in return is a full fledged Sunday Funday with the S-Q-U-I-D-Z.

J "to the cheese" Paint-it

P.S. I know about winning from my days repping the left shore lax scene NDNU laxers represent. I know I'm getting some hate from those long island guidos on the internet but you know my boys on the west coast is the hardest. (two of my boys went to BL. You know they hard).

Mike RZA's TOW(trick of the week)

Free Agency

As head writer following the squid squad, I figured I would take 5 minutes out of my life and finally post something. Unlike last week it is not raining out so I don't have a good excuse for not going to the game. Oh wait, did I just say I needed an excuse to not show up to a club lacrosse game at 2 on a Sunday. Until I see photographic evidence of free beers on the sideline, I prefer to just make up what happened in the game. So, in case you were wondering (I know you weren't) the squids had their first loss today 8 - 6 to the visiting team. (Disclaimer - It's about 3'oclock so the game isn't actually over but I'm in second place in my work bracket so I'm feeling pretty confident in my predictive skills).

Now that the squids have been put in their place they need realize they can't just show up and survive on talent alone. This is why they need to pick up some new talent. I would like to suggest some new additions to help the squad.

I'm not sure what Justin and Matt were thinking when they started forming the team. Today i will discuss the shortcomings of the defense but first some things they did right:

1. Got a guy who wasn't scared to throw a homerun check anywhere on the field everytime the opponent had the ball.

2. Have a defender that used to be fast and thinks he's an attackmen. However the only excercise he's had in the last 5 years is riding 72 holes a week.

This is were there should be trash talk about the rest of the defenders here but I'm tired.

I'm sure there are plenty of great pieces of this defense but like I mentioned earlier I haven't actually seen the squids play (I don't think I get ESPNirrelevant and if I did my DVR is full of old Maury Povich episodes. Which by the way Geoff, the 11th paternity test result came back....You are...................................not the father). Some problems and my proposed solutions for the squids

Problem: Noone smoking cigarrettes on the sideline inside their helmet. Solution:

POOP

Problem: Not enough pokechecks and too much sliding

Solution: Mike "if you get beat that's your problem, I'm not gonna slide and put myself in harms way" Murray

I'm done with this post, I apologize to any defensemen that I didn't offend but please forgive me as it's my first attempt at blogging. I will not keep you updated during the week of negotations with these two highly touted free agents. This hasn't been confirmed but rumor has it that Murray won't play for anything less than a new pair of White High Top Nike Sharks.

See you at the Boatyard for SquidBombs.

Oh and in late breaking news despite my predictions the squids won.

Squids Mascot Naming Contest

Suggest names in the comments section below.

Visors

Guys- we decided that we want to use money from our dues to get visors. they come in red. they're 50 bucks, but totally worth it. come on, justin. please, dude.

Exclusive Press Man for the ELC

Exclusive reporting rights were recently purchased by native Annapolitan Stump Wimbish to report on the inner workings of the ELC. A passionate laxthusiast, Phillip has spent his whole life around the game. Related to two Squid attackmen, Wimbish saw himself as having a unique view toward "The Team." Stump vowes to use his inside knowledge of the team to not only promote the Squid movement, but also give its fans game recaps and stats.

Below sits the questionaire submitted by Stump to get the SquidSquad blog Head Writer position:

1. Why do they call you Stump?
"Grizzly Adams did have a beard."
2. What makes Eastport special to you?
"I have to walk over a bridge to get there."
3. We hear you have some cousins on the team. Who is better: Justin or Jamison?
"Being unbiased, I can say without hesitation that Justin definitely has a mean slap shot."
4. Do you actually know anything about lacrosse, or are you just trying to get a field pass so you can drink on the sideline and watch games?
"Dude. I'm a lax bro through and through. I played at AYLA for Christhilf sake. Don't question me, douche."
5. Do you have any prior sports writing experience?
"I once wrote a paper in college mere minutes after doing Oklahoma drills in the rain outside my frat house using a Natural Light can as a ball."
6. Favorite style of dance?
"The Squid Squirm"

Congratulations, Stump. You're officially the Head Writer for The Squids. Your press badge is in the mail. If anyone tries to give you trouble on the sideline, just flash your badge from underneath your Squid costume(leftover Super Mario Costume from Halloween with red pool noodles attached by fishing wire).